Are you always last on your list of priorities?
Are you a midlife woman who is always last on your list of priorities? Have you spent years or even decades accommodating the needs of your kids and/or spouse and have put your dreams on the back-burner? Are you wondering when it'g ever going to be your turn?
Midlife is the time to put yourself back on the agenda.
As midlife women, we've been conditioned to put everyone else first.
- We drop everything to go pick up our kids
- We build our schedules around our spouse's job
- We drop things we love doing (and are paid to do) to help someone else
- We are always there for any member of our extended family or community (often in a way that they are not there for us...)
We feel drained and resentful, but still have trouble saying no.
And when we say no, we feel guilty.
As midlife women, we have been conditioned to believe that everyone else's priorities are much more important that ours. We've been primed to accept;
- mom guilt is expected
- the belief that kids always come first
- the belief that we are expected to volunteer our time or say yes to any request
- the understanding that whoever is paid the most can dictate the family schedule
- the notion that women's needs are unimportant
Now we can get into why this happens (cough cough Patriarchy) but it's more important to know that it's simply not true.
Yes, when you bring small helpless people onto the planet, you have to put their needs first for a time, but this does not mean that for the rest of your days, you play Cinderella while everyone else skips off to the ball.
Your needs are important too. For some of you, the idea of pursuing your goals will feel uncomfortable, particularly if it inconveniences your family from time to time. If you feel blocked around the idea of focusing on your own happiness for a while, consider this:
Having a life of your own is a gift for your family and friends.
That's right: it's a gift! Because when you are happy, you don't have to find your happiness through your kids or spouse or others. When you are focusing on your own achievements, you don't have to focus on theirs.
What a relief for everyone!
Midlife is the perfect time to discover your interests and purpose and find something to take pride in that is all your own. Maybe it's garden dancing 😂 or something else.
Once you drop the guilt and start to pursue your passions, you'll be amazed at how quickly you can shift into joy.
That's why I've created a FREE Workbook and Quiz.
The Midlife Edit Workbook is a FREE coaching tool to help you put yourself back on the agenda.
In this PDF download, you'll learn how to:
- Get comfortable with the uncomfortable feeling of putting time, money and energy behind your dreams.
- Identify money, time and energy drains.
- Deal with the fear of not having "I never have time for myself" as an excuse for not living the life you were meant to lead.
- Practice small acts of courage as you more publicly put yourself into the world whether it's showing your art, launching your product, publishing your book, sending out a resume and so much more.
You will also get a link to take your FREE Midlife Personality Quiz to help you figure out what you your next step might be in the midlife season.
This workbook is a permission slip to help you step out of your role helping everyone else achieve their dreams and start to focus on yours.