Lessons from Lady Gaga (aka how to change it all for the better in five years)Aug 08, 2022
I love Lady Gaga. She's in my top five favorite artists.
And until Saturday, I'd never seen her perform live and thought I never might.
I had tickets to her Joanne concert in September of 2017 and could not go because I was too mentally and physically unwell. I was in a bad marriage and felt trapped in suburbia. My recently diagnosed endometriosis and adenomyosis was at its peak (stress induced illness is real, y'all) leaving me collapsing in pain. I just couldn't make it. And then Lady Gaga got sick and cancelled the end of the tour and it looked like she'd never tour again.
When she reannounced her tour that would kick off in 2020 I bought two tickets even though I was still not doing well. Then COVID hit and the 2020 and 2021 shows were postponed. When the new 2022 date was announced I traded in the two mediocre seats for one amazing floor seat: which is 100% a metaphor for my midlife. 😽
The concert was oxygen. Gaga is back and so grateful to have come through the fire of her chronic illness. The adoration of her fans was palpable and the pageantry of the outfits was spectacular. My seat, which was amazing from the jump, became even more amazing as she moved to the even closer Stage B for 40 minutes. You can watch her piano version of Born This Way on my personal IG Reel.
When Gaga talked about not knowing if she'd ever be able to tour again, it landed hard. In 2017, I wondered if the part of my life where I felt massive abundance, had my health, and felt positive and energized was gone for good. I was terrified at the prospect of divorcing again because if I felt that terrible while married, how on earth would I manage alone? I assumed I'd feel the way I felt only worse because I'd be divorced. I did not for a second imagine that I'd be significantly healthier, happier, and wealthier. (My net worth has increased significantly since the divorce because it's easier to succeed without negativity in your life.)
If you are stuck in a job or marriage or town or lifestyle that's draining you, please don't assume that if you change that situation you will feel exactly the same way that you do now AND will be lacking a job/husband/friend group. The butterfly effect is real and one change will change everything, often for the better.
I could not have foreseen the shift in health and wealth and happiness. I could not have foreseen the confidence that comes from thriving in a season you'd once dreaded.
On Saturday night, which was just short of five years from the concert I was too mentally and physically sick to attend, I saw it. I saw that the thing I thought was keeping me afloat was the thing that was dragging me down. I saw that on the other side of your fear is your salvation.
If you are feeling trapped but terrified that making a change will make things worse, know that it isn't possible. The universe does not put things on your heart that will destroy you. You know what you need to do. You just need to do it.
This can mean:
- Quitting your toxic job
- Leaving your bad marriage
- Moving to a city/town/rural area that makes you feel like you can exhale
- Taking time off to rest or travel
- Starting your own business
- Getting help with addiction
- Embracing your true self
It may not be comfortable, but it will be oh so worth it. You can't just hope for change, you need to change it.
I didn't leave my marriage but I did start to live on my own terms since I was at the stage where my health was on the line. I started booking trips and buying stuff I wanted with my own money and learning french (some weeks, I don't think I spoke any english in the house lol) So I was left. And I cried for half a day until I had a plan to buy out the cash. And then I got to work.
And I've never looked back.
Healthier. Wealthier. Happier. If it's available to me, it's available to you too.
You don't have to do it on your own.Therapy, coaching, reading, joining mastermind groups, and surrounding yourself with likeminded people will support you in your journey.
Mark this date so that five years from now, you can have your own Lady Gaga moment and look back and see how far you've come.